Is this a good story? Taking The Chance By Jaden Li
My parents abandoned me in the forest when I was about five years old, and I was struggling to adapt to the new environment. I hid in a cave with some food with me so that I wouldn’t stave to death. When I got old enough, I built a small wooden house that was small enough for me. Hi, I’m Eli, and I’m about fifteen years old with a made-up calendar that I think is wrong. I have a pet horse named Chance that I had helped when it was injured. I have brown hair, am strong, and am sometimes brave at some point. My friend Chance has brown skin and is about the same height as me; she is also very friendly. I got out of bed and checked if Chance was still there, making sure that she was comfortable. I found out that Chance was gone.
I looked everywhere for her, but I couldn’t find her. Then I noticed a big cave nearby and thought that she might have gone in there by herself. As I started to walk to the cave, I started to worry that she might have gotten hurt or something because she didn’t tell me. Chance usually tells me where she is going first, but she didn’t tell me this morning. She usually goes meh, meh out there
A couple of minutes passed, and I finally arrived at the enormous cave. Luckily, I brought my flashlight with me to see better in the dark. I found it in the woods when a hunter was hunting one night. I turned my flashlight on, went straight in, and thought of Chance not being there. If Chance isn’t here, then I will be lost, and then I came up with an idea that might help me remember the way back. I ran back to my house and ran back here with a long rope at one end to tie a rock to the outside of the cave. On the other end of the rope, I was going to tie it to my hand, making sure it wouldn’t fall off.
So I went in, turned on my flashlight again, and then found some mud on the ground with some footsteps on it. I looked at it carefully and noticed that the mud was squishy and that someone or something had been here recently. It looked like human feet, not horse feet. So I went deeper into the cave, and then I heard a strange, freaky noise coming inside the cave. As I went in more and more, the rope wasn’t long enough, so I thought of leaving it on the ground and memorizing the area carefully so he wouldn’t get lost. So I continued walking.
Then I saw a big blue light coming towards me as I kept on walking. I walked closer and closer and saw a lot of crystals in there, shining beautifully at me. There had to be hundreds of crystals in this cave when I saw a man with brown hair, blue eyes, and very big muscles who looked like he could lift a car. He glared at me in a very secretive way, and I noticed he had a big bag with him as well. Hey, what are you doing here? He said, Oh, I’m looking for a horse around here. I replied. You meant this one, he said. I looked up, and I saw Chance tied to one of the crystals, and I was hurt badly by him. Yes, I said. Can I have her back? I will do anything to get her back, I told him. He stood there for about half a minute and said no, so he handed me a shovel and made me do work. He said to dig the dirt up and pull it out. It took me a while to get one crystal out, and I thought of Chance; she was beaten up by him. Hi, I’m Eli. What’s your name? My name is Kale, and what are you doing in the middle of nowhere? Oh, um, I go and explore here sometimes. I lied to him because I didn’t want him to know that I lived here. I decided to hit him with my shovel, and I could run out of there. I looked at him for a while and went back to dig again. I needed the courage to do it and waited for the right time to strike. Kale was looking the other way right now. Now this is my Big Chance, so I lifted my shovel and smashed it in his head hard. Kale collapsed on the floor and dropped his shovel.
I ran to Chance and untied the ropes, and I decided to carry her as I ran. She was heavy, but I’m pretty strong too. As I was running, I noticed that it took longer to get out. I ignored it and kept on running. Then I ran out of the cave, and the sun was about to go down. Then I saw that I was in a different place than I had been before. Then I thought that the cave must have two entrances in it. I checked if the rope was on the outside, but it wasn’t. I thought that I would have to build a shelter or go into the cave to camp until I saw Kale’s car out there. Then I checked if there were keys in his car, but I saw a rock near the car’s tire, lifted it, and saw a pair of car keys under it. I grabbed it to unlock it, but I didn’t know how to drive or do anything with a car. I put Chance in the back of the car; she was lying on the seat. I still remember back then sitting in my car seat with my mom and dad and my mom carrying me out of the seat in an open field. I thought that my parents were horrible people, and I remembered that my dad pressed some sort of button to start the car.