I'M OFFERING 98 POINTS - PLZ HELP

I'm a bit unsure of what to add/change about my soliloquy. It's for Macbeth, specifically Act 5, Scene 1 - Lady Macbeth, sleepwalking scene (from the perspective of the doctor).

Here's the draft:
The Doctor in Act 5 of Macbeth after Lady Macbeth’s sleepwalking incident – max. 3 minutes
It’s been terribly busy. Ever since the devil’s spawn decided to make the Scottish his doom and country his “discordous” den. Wives are missing, lords are disappearing. The sick are dying before I get paid – it may might as well be hell.
I had been called to the castle, a fever dream it would’ve been to see him near to death. But to my dismay it was only his dear dame.
The gentlewoman had urged me to stay for 2 nights to observe of her “unusual sleeping practices”.
It was late at night, I waited outside of her room accompanied by the woman – a knock disturbs the silence. A ghost appeared at the wind-blown doorway, giving me a fright – the gentlewoman informed me that it was in fact the lady.
Her eyes, were misplaced, elsewhere, wavering – void to her surroundings, lost. And her hands they were marked dry, shaky, frail. Like silk gloves only heaven knew what was underneath. She spoke in gasping whispers that desperately threatened the flaming heart.
Conditions such as these covers underlying stresses and anxieties but what is a queen to worry about?
Noting, listening
An accomplice? The murder of King Duncan? Macduff’s young wife? I hear this yet I’m of no surprise, only disturbance. No sane man can do this, the crown’s in over his head.
The heart’s been dowsed by dirty blood to the size of a mere flame like the wisp that flickers upon the candle she holds. With no one to share the fire she is sure to burn out… Such conditions ought to have been noticed, she is the queen – a good husband would care. But I guess and forget he is not.
A disease seeps and creeps under each peoples’ skin, under their mind and in their hearts – the type to sicken the good man in his grave.
He hath given the lady the apple, her being unaware that it was poisonous. I see now he treats all like a tool – disposed of, only she, baring the consequences. Actions atrocious! Something must be done!
Though I be a fool to reckon with the devil, playing lives with his juggling hand. Where the soul lies is on top of clouds that only some can reach or below where fires burn mortal hands.
The mare is in grave need of proper rest, may she find day in the end…
I realise this is too grand of a scheme for me to interfere. Against forces, I surrender and do as I’m supposed to and take leave elsewhere, for that is all I can do in my power.

It’s been terribly busy. Ever since the devil’s spawn decided to make the Scottish his doom and us of a his “discordous” den. better halves are missing, lords are disappearing. The unwell are loss of life earlier than i get paid – it is able to might as properly be hell.

I were referred to as to the castle, a fever dream it might’ve been to look him near to death. however to my dismay it was only his pricey dame.

The gentlewoman had urged me to stay for 2 nights to look at of her “unusual drowsing practices”.

It was past due at night time, I waited outside of her room observed by using the female – a knock disturbs the silence. A ghost appeared at the wind-blown doorway, giving me a fright – the gentlewoman informed me that it became in truth the lady.

Her eyes, were out of place, someplace else, wavering – void to her environment, lost. And her hands they were marked dry, shaky, frail. Like silk gloves only heaven knew what was underneath. She spoke in gasping whispers that desperately threatened the flaming coronary heart.

situations consisting of these covers underlying stresses and anxieties however what's a queen to fear approximately?

*Noting, listening*

An partner? The homicide of King Duncan? Macduff’s young wife? I listen this yet I’m of no wonder, only disturbance. No sane man can do this, the crown’s in over his head.

The coronary heart’s been dowsed via grimy blood to the dimensions of a mere flame just like the wisp that flickers upon the candle she holds. With no person to percentage the fireplace she is sure to burn out… Such situations must had been observed, she is the queen – a very good husband might care. however I guess and forget about he is not.

A sickness seeps and creeps beneath each peoples’ skin, under their mind and in their hearts – the type to sicken the coolest man in his grave.

He hath given the lady the apple, her being unaware that it turned into poisonous. I see now he treats all like a device – disposed of, simplest she, baring the results. movements atrocious! something ought to be performed!

Even though I be a fool to reckon with satan, playing lives with his juggling hand. where the soul lies is on pinnacle of clouds that just a few can reach or below wherein fires burn mortal arms.

The mare is in grave need of right relaxation, may also she discover day ultimately…

I recognize this is too grand of a scheme for me to interfere. in opposition to forces, I surrender and do as I’m presupposed to and take leave some other place, for that is all i'm able to do in my power.