Respuesta :
We can infer that the revision that would make this paragraph suitable for a presentation is: Inserting stronger verbs and a more active voice.
What is revision?
Revision refers to a way that a text is rewriting or restated in order to improve on it and make it more understandable.
We can actually see that when stronger verbs are inserted with a more active voice, it will be suitable for a presentation.
Learn more about revision on https://brainly.com/question/8823021
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